Hey felllas,
Hope life is well. Just wanted to drop a seed in your mind about something you might want to do with your boo in the coming days. Since we all live such busy lives, sometimes it's easy to appreciate the phases of life that we're in, particularly if the current phase is a difficult one on the journey towards realizing your vision/dreams for your family. Nevertheless, each phase has something wonderful to appreciate, and for you and your spouse, it's always fun and purposeful to look back together, see where you've been, give thanks, and look forward to see where you're going and express gratitude for where you are as well.
So, I challenge you all to have a flashback and flashforward moment with your wives, it'll change your perspective on today- i guarantee it!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Husbands with Big Dreams...
So, something's been on my mind now for a few days lately as I have had the opportunity to really sit back and gather my thoughts on vacation this past week. It's been this idea that each of us have big dreams, and we're still waiting on things to happen (to some degree) for those dreams to come to pass. As I pondered why this was, and how I could change this for myself particularly, it began to occur to me that like-minded individuals tend to flock together. All we need is one of us to break through and really step out on faith and realize their dreams. I know each of us are so excited and ready to support one another, but there are some steps we've got to take both individually (to get our dreams ready to launch) and collectively to be able to fully support each other. So here's what I propose:
On the individual level, we need to consider Proverbs 3:5-6 as our guidepost to determine if we're truly ready to step out on God or not. Here are some questions that I'm asking myself right now about my particular dreams (i encourage you to do the same):
Testing your dreams: questions to ask yourself (taken from Proverbs 3:5-6):
On the individual level, we need to consider Proverbs 3:5-6 as our guidepost to determine if we're truly ready to step out on God or not. Here are some questions that I'm asking myself right now about my particular dreams (i encourage you to do the same):
Testing your dreams: questions to ask yourself (taken from Proverbs 3:5-6):
- What is God telling me to do? What exactly have I specifically heard Him say to me?
- Is it bigger than what I think I can accomplish on my own?
- Does it require partnering with other people? Who/what type of people, and how will I partner with them?
- What will be the ultimate outcome of my dreams? What impact will it have for the kingdom of God?
- How will this dream force me to grow and develop as a man, husband, and Christian?
- How is this idea similiar/different to what I have always wanted to do/seen done before? Am i really letting God outside of the box here?
- How am I serving others through this dream?
Testing your dreams with others: questions to ask each other at our next bible-study:
- Who do I trust to share this dream with?
- Who will challenge me to grow appropriately, and hold me accountable?
- How is the success of my friend connected to my own success and vice versa?
- In what ways can your friends show support/encourage you towards your dreams?
- In what ways can you do the same towards theirs?
Dudes- we've got to get serious about having these kinds of conversations more often and more consistently. I know we all lead busy lives, but it's our time to realize our dreams. I just have such a great sense of urgency about this given the fact that if things are going to change, it has to start with us- the heads of our households. So, let's make this happen. Let's get back in the habit of having our regular dudes bible studies (and for the folks on this blog who've never participated- you're welcome to join).
I'm going to throw out some dates for our next b-study and let Hosea take it from there (like that delegation Mr. Gibbs!):
- Friday evening (i'm babysitting Riles while Samantha works so I'm limited to my house so we could meet there)
- Saturday morning (perhaps bible study first over an early breakfast)
- Sunday morning (again- perhaps b-study first over an early breakfast)
- Sunday after church- I know the ladies are getting together then- Paul do you have class this time?
SDW3
Monday, August 23, 2010
Challenging one another in love...
1 Corinthians 5:12-13 (Message Translation)
"I'm not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don't we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers? God decides on the outsiders, but we need to decide when our brothers and sisters are out of line and, if necessary clean house."
Just a thought brothers, but I'm sure each of us knows someone that we need to reach out to in our community who could use some good brotherly love in an area. Think about that homeboy of yours who professes Christianity, but you know hasn't been living right. Or, closer to home, think about someone within our own circle who you know needs the hard earned wisdom of your experience so that they don't make your same mistake (a mistake which by the way you see them tip-toeing to the edge of making). We're all accountable for one another, and that means we've got to look out for each other as well. We've got to get back to looking out for one another.
PS- when's our next b-study?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Giving the Advantage
Hey dudes,
Hope life is well. I just wanted to share a little bit of what i was praying about this morning concerning love, and specifically God's love in marriage. I was thinking about how when we show the love of God, it's designed to give the advantage to the object of our affection (as my Pastor has been teaching us recently). So if that's the case, then our ability to give the advantage to another person is totally dependent on our willingness to figure out what the other person needs/wants and be receptive to their desires.
That seems like a tough task, particularly for a husband who's notoriously known for not being a mind reader. Yet, it's probably a difficult task for anyone without the Holy Spirit's help. I can't tell you how many times I've probably missed the ball because of my inability to listen to what my wife is saying, and then do something about it. And that's what I think giving the advantage comes down to. If you're really concerned about the other person, motivated by their well-being, then you'll learn how to listen when they talk and you'll learn how to discern the cues they give you when they express their needs/desires.
It's a growing process (learning how to love correctly) certainly, but it's one that has tremendous rewards (as I've experienced and been told). Sometimes it does require one of us learning how to take the first step, be the bigger man, all that good stuff. But what a better relationship we have when at least one of us, and then both of us in marriage are finally focused on giving the other person the advantage all the time. Get that image in your mind, forgive your wife for whatever you're mad at her about, and start working towards that goal. Be blessed!
SDW3
Hope life is well. I just wanted to share a little bit of what i was praying about this morning concerning love, and specifically God's love in marriage. I was thinking about how when we show the love of God, it's designed to give the advantage to the object of our affection (as my Pastor has been teaching us recently). So if that's the case, then our ability to give the advantage to another person is totally dependent on our willingness to figure out what the other person needs/wants and be receptive to their desires.
That seems like a tough task, particularly for a husband who's notoriously known for not being a mind reader. Yet, it's probably a difficult task for anyone without the Holy Spirit's help. I can't tell you how many times I've probably missed the ball because of my inability to listen to what my wife is saying, and then do something about it. And that's what I think giving the advantage comes down to. If you're really concerned about the other person, motivated by their well-being, then you'll learn how to listen when they talk and you'll learn how to discern the cues they give you when they express their needs/desires.
It's a growing process (learning how to love correctly) certainly, but it's one that has tremendous rewards (as I've experienced and been told). Sometimes it does require one of us learning how to take the first step, be the bigger man, all that good stuff. But what a better relationship we have when at least one of us, and then both of us in marriage are finally focused on giving the other person the advantage all the time. Get that image in your mind, forgive your wife for whatever you're mad at her about, and start working towards that goal. Be blessed!
SDW3
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Praying for your spouse
Dudes! (i say dudes, b/c this particular blog of mine is specifically for my married male friends, so I want this to be a forum for us to discuss, grow, and develop as husbands). But anyways, dudes! Since the Men's conference last week, I've been thinking a lot about what it will take to fight for the things in my life that matter- particularly how to fight for my marriage and family. And the key area that I've been focusing on is how to fight- namely via prayer and taking obedient action. I've got to tell you, I'm starting to see some results!
It's been cool b/c as you all know, I'm a big book fan (I read a lot, whatever...). One of the books that I recently read was in the Pray Big series, Pray Big for your Marriage and Pray Big for your Children (if you haven't read either, I suggest you pick them up- really good books that teach you how to pray scriptural based prayers for specific issues w/marriage and families. Well anyways, after the conference I sat down w/ my boy C. Weaver and we talked about the specific areas where we wanted to make sure to actively engage in this warfare going on in our lives and marriages. After identifying the areas where I needed to start praying and taking action, I did just that.
For the past few days, specifically one area I identified to take action on (and have been doing so) is interceeding on behalf of my wife. I'm sure we probably all pray for our spouses to some degree, but how often do we make concerted efforts to really pray for our wives vision, pray that they hear from God, pray that they're a blessing to those around them, pray that they're maintaining positive self images, pray that God gives them the desires of their heart...there's so much more! And beyond that, how often do we stop and ask our wives- what would you like for me to pray for you today? I dare you to try that!
The point is- I agree wholeheartedly with Bishop Boone. As the heads of our homes, we'd better be leading the prayer charge in our household, setting the direction of where we're going as husbands and interceeding for anyone in our homes. You should be your wife's greatest cheerleader- but you can't support her if you don't know what her dreams, goals, challenges, and struggles are. Ok, here's a task that we can later discuss (perhaps at our next dudes bible study- Hosea want to organize that one?). Find out what your wife needs and wants prayer for over the next few days and come up with a plan for what, how, and when to pray. Then, watch as God begins to settle all the issues that you've been trying in futility to handle on your own. Bet!
SDW3
It's been cool b/c as you all know, I'm a big book fan (I read a lot, whatever...). One of the books that I recently read was in the Pray Big series, Pray Big for your Marriage and Pray Big for your Children (if you haven't read either, I suggest you pick them up- really good books that teach you how to pray scriptural based prayers for specific issues w/marriage and families. Well anyways, after the conference I sat down w/ my boy C. Weaver and we talked about the specific areas where we wanted to make sure to actively engage in this warfare going on in our lives and marriages. After identifying the areas where I needed to start praying and taking action, I did just that.
For the past few days, specifically one area I identified to take action on (and have been doing so) is interceeding on behalf of my wife. I'm sure we probably all pray for our spouses to some degree, but how often do we make concerted efforts to really pray for our wives vision, pray that they hear from God, pray that they're a blessing to those around them, pray that they're maintaining positive self images, pray that God gives them the desires of their heart...there's so much more! And beyond that, how often do we stop and ask our wives- what would you like for me to pray for you today? I dare you to try that!
The point is- I agree wholeheartedly with Bishop Boone. As the heads of our homes, we'd better be leading the prayer charge in our household, setting the direction of where we're going as husbands and interceeding for anyone in our homes. You should be your wife's greatest cheerleader- but you can't support her if you don't know what her dreams, goals, challenges, and struggles are. Ok, here's a task that we can later discuss (perhaps at our next dudes bible study- Hosea want to organize that one?). Find out what your wife needs and wants prayer for over the next few days and come up with a plan for what, how, and when to pray. Then, watch as God begins to settle all the issues that you've been trying in futility to handle on your own. Bet!
SDW3
Monday, June 14, 2010
When loving is difficult to do...
Luke 17:4-5
"Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, 'I repent', you must forgive them. The apostles said to the Lord, 'increase our faith!"
How many of you have had periods in your marriage where it seems like, despite your best efforts you and your spouse find it difficult to get on the same page? It could be for a variety of reasons, but ultimately the discord causes pain and one of you gets hurt. The question is- what do you do with that hurt once it's arrived? We probably all know the answer to that question- it depends on where you are in your love walk. If you're advanced- you easily forgive, work to mend bridges (even if the situation wasn't caused by you), and you try to understand the other person's perspective. If you're less advanced, you'll probably respond very similarly to the disciples- Lord increase my faith!
Loving through pain can be a difficult experience, especially if your spouse doesn't really seem to understand what you're going through (or shows no interest in trying to understand). But, here's where you can begin. Think about things from God's perspective. He loves us regardless of what we do- always believing the best in us, hoping the best for us, and willing to forgive us when we make mistakes. If anyone has a reason to hold grudges, it should be Him (His trust has been violated by us so many times!) Yet, each time we disappoint Him, He's quick to take us back, forgive, believe the best, etc. We've got to have that approach with our spouse. We've got to make a decision to love scripturally (1 Corinthians 13 kind of love) regardless of what it looks like, feels like, or seems like. As a matter of fact- if we make a commitment to love like this- our spouse will ultimately meet our expectation (simply b/c we're not giving them any other option!). It might take days, months, or years- but think like God thinks. He's committed to loving us no matter what- and He's not giving up on us. Do you have that same level of commitment towards your spouse?
Here's what I want you to try today. Identify one area of your marriage where you've been holding back your love (purposely b/c of some past offense, pain, or hurt) and do something for your spouse as a sign of forgiveness just because you love them. Watch what happens and see if loving doesn't become a little easier as you soften the ground of both your hearts.
SDW3
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