Praying for your spouse

Dudes!  (i say dudes, b/c this particular blog of mine is specifically for my married male friends, so I want this to be a forum for us to discuss, grow, and develop as husbands).  But anyways, dudes!  Since the Men's conference last week, I've been thinking a lot about what it will take to fight for the things in my life that matter- particularly how to fight for my marriage and family.  And the key area that I've been focusing on is how to fight- namely via prayer and taking obedient action.  I've got to tell you, I'm starting to see some results!  


It's been cool b/c as you all know, I'm a big book fan (I read a lot, whatever...).  One of the books that I recently read was in the Pray Big series, Pray Big for your Marriage and Pray Big for your Children (if you haven't read either, I suggest you pick them up- really good books that teach you how to pray scriptural based prayers for specific issues w/marriage and families.  Well anyways, after the conference I sat down w/ my boy C. Weaver and we talked about the specific areas where we wanted to make sure to actively engage in this warfare going on in our lives and marriages.  After identifying the areas where I needed to start praying and taking action, I did just that.  


For the past few days, specifically one area I identified to take action on (and have been doing so) is interceeding on behalf of my wife.  I'm sure we probably all pray for our spouses to some degree, but how often do we make concerted efforts to really pray for our wives vision, pray that they hear from God, pray that they're a blessing to those around them, pray that they're maintaining positive self images, pray that God gives them the desires of their heart...there's so much more!  And beyond that, how often do we stop and ask our wives- what would you like for me to pray for you today?  I dare you to try that!  


The point is- I agree wholeheartedly with Bishop Boone.  As the heads of our homes, we'd better be leading the prayer charge in our household, setting the direction of where we're going as husbands and interceeding for anyone in our homes.  You should be your wife's greatest cheerleader- but you can't support her if you don't know what her dreams, goals, challenges, and struggles are.  Ok, here's a task that we can later discuss (perhaps at our next dudes bible study- Hosea want to organize that one?).  Find out what your wife needs and wants prayer for over the next few days and come up with a plan for what, how, and when to pray.  Then, watch as God begins to settle all the issues that you've been trying in futility to handle on your own.  Bet!


SDW3

When loving is difficult to do...

Luke 17:4-5

"Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, 'I repent', you must forgive them.  The apostles said to the Lord, 'increase our faith!"

How many of you have had periods in your marriage where it seems like, despite your best efforts you and your spouse find it difficult to get on the same page?  It could be for a variety of reasons, but ultimately the discord causes pain and one of you gets hurt.  The question is- what do you do with that hurt once it's arrived?  We probably all know the answer to that question- it depends on where you are in your love walk.  If you're advanced- you easily forgive, work to mend bridges (even if the situation wasn't caused by you), and you try to understand the other person's perspective.  If you're less advanced, you'll probably respond very similarly to the disciples- Lord increase my faith!  

Loving through pain can be a difficult experience, especially if your spouse doesn't really seem to understand what you're going through (or shows no interest in trying to understand).  But, here's where you can begin.  Think about things from God's perspective.  He loves us regardless of what we do- always believing the best in us, hoping the best for us, and willing to forgive us when we make mistakes.  If anyone has a reason to hold grudges, it should be Him (His trust has been violated by us so many times!)  Yet, each time we disappoint Him, He's quick to take us back, forgive, believe the best, etc.  We've got to have that approach with our spouse.  We've got to make a decision to love scripturally (1 Corinthians 13 kind of love) regardless of what it looks like, feels like, or seems like.  As a matter of fact- if we make a commitment to love like this- our spouse will ultimately meet our expectation (simply b/c we're not giving them any other option!).  It might take days, months, or years- but think like God thinks.  He's committed to loving us no matter what- and He's not giving up on us.  Do you have that same level of commitment towards your spouse?  

Here's what I want you to try today.  Identify one area of your marriage where you've been holding back your love (purposely b/c of some past offense, pain, or hurt) and do something for your spouse as a sign of forgiveness just because you love them.  Watch what happens and see if loving doesn't become a little easier as you soften the ground of both your hearts.  

SDW3